Thursday, July 16, 2009

I wish that I could start this post off with, "well, if you've been reading for awhile you know all about the drama with my high school friends", but I don't believe I've ever mentioned them. So here goes nothing:

6 best girlfriends, 4 best guy friends. I started dating someone outside of our group, and the group began to avoid me. Um, clique much? But, I continued to date the guy, to the continued deterioration of my friendships. I was so upset, but I'm confident I made the right decision- I am still in the same relationship.

In the midst of all of this, my parents decided to move 45 minutes away from my town so my mother could take care of her ailing father. So, we sold our house and left. I figured it would be more or less the same. Get together sometimes while we're on breaks, etc. It wasn't. They get together frequently. I am not called. On the other hand, not a break has gone by without me trying to get in touch.

The last 3 years have been tumultuous, to say the least. And I could have used the help. Not one of them offered support when I was in the midst of my school's biggest crisis, or said anything at all when my grandfather, with whom I have always been close, passed away.

At this point, you're likely thinking, "wow, they must have hated you" (which is what my insecurities say), or "why are you worried about this? Screw them, they suck, move on."

And normally, I pretty much have moved on. Except for one of them recently found a movie we made in HS that I had forgotten about. So he sent a facebook message to everyone involved in it saying, "the next time we're all home, we should get together and watch this." One of my girlfriends responded, "we're having a housewarming party, and you are all invited, we can watch it then."

This feels like two things: A) when you have an ex-boyfriend and all of a sudden he tries to get back into your life, or, B) when you happen to be included, you feel like you were only invited because you were privy to the message. Or maybe both.

I've decided that having 9 ex-friends do this is way worse than if 9 ex-boyfriends did it.

So, what do you think I should do? Forget about them and move on? Go to the housewarming party and mention how I feel? Go and pretend everything is perfect?

3 comments:

Peace, Love, and Pearls said...

Ignore them and move on I say!

This Minneapolis Life said...

Oh, this is a tough one! I think only you can decide what you should do--you probably already know in your gut what the answer is. My philosophy on friendships is that it takes two and that there should not be one person putting in more effort than the other. So if people stop reaching out to me or I don't hear from them...I assume they don't want to be freinds and I let it go.

On the other hand, if you think this might be an attempt to let bygones be bygones, then maybe you could consider going just to help put things behind you and even get some closure. But if this is the only thing you have heard from them and no one has reached out individually it seems odd.

It sounds cheesy, but just follow your instincts.

Torch Lake Prep said...

Are these people you would like to see/be involved with again on a regular basis? Do you have things in common -- besides hs? You will encounter this situation throughout the various stages of your life and you have to do what brings you happiness.